Dear friend,

Life is sometimes like autumn. There are the beautiful colourful times, dark days and bright days. No matter how you're feeling today, we hope you feel at home with us as you read this newsletter.

In this edition we consider how we often need to release and let go of some things in our lives so that we can move forward. We take a look at what some of these things might be and also tell you about a visual symbol of letting go, which many bereaved parents have found helpful.

Christmas is creeping up on us and is a particularly painful time if your child has died during the past year. However long ago we lost our child, this time of year can be very hard. So in this edition, you'll read ideas from bereaved parents which have helped them get through Christmas. None of us are experts, but hopefully those further along the journey can bring hope to those who are wondering how they will get through the next few difficult weeks.

We remember all our children with thanksgiving and pride this Christmas.

With our love,

Kath and Mike Coulson,
Bereaved Parents’ Network Co-ordinators,
Care for the Family
www.careforthefamily.org.uk/bpn

PS Please remember we are here for you. The run-up to Christmas and the prospect of winter can be particularly daunting, so let's stay in touch and encourage one other.

What comes to your mind when you hear the word 'release'? Does it conjure images of freedom and relief? Or does it perhaps bring with it a fear of letting go of something precious that you long to hold onto?

None of us wants to forget our precious child - yet we are sometimes afraid that release from some of the effects of grief may allow their memory to fade. However, the converse can be true: finding release from the overwhelming sadness, pain and hurt can allow us to remember more things about our child - particularly the happier memories.

A symbol of release and letting go

During the weekends Care for the Family holds for bereaved parents and adult siblings, we do something very visual. You could call it a symbolic act. We each take a helium-filled balloon and spend a few minutes alone to write a small personal message on a label which is then attached to the balloon.

We are very aware that Christmas is just around the corner and it can be a daunting prospect, whether this is the first Christmas you're facing without your son or daughter - or it's something you've had to cope with for many years.

We never become experts at living without our child, and there are certain times and days when it will always be difficult and we will miss then especially. Christmas is just one of these times.

It can be hard to find ways to include them in the day, whilst still caring for other members of the family. It can be hard to know what traditions to continue and what new ones to create as the years go by.

In early October, some 70 bereaved parents and siblings gathered for a weekend at Staverton Park Hotel, near Daventry - many unsure of what to expect, but all hoping to find support following the loss of their son or daughter, brother or sister. The relaxing surroundings of the hotel, and the welcome from the Bereaved Parents' Network befrienders at the door on the Friday evening, helped put people at their ease from the start.

During the weekend, everyone was encouraged to share their stories with others and to develop lasting friendships both during sessions, and at mealtimes and coffee breaks during the day. It was good to have time to simply relax, reflect and chat. Care for the Family also provided the opportunity for people to speak to a member of their Care and Counsel Team on a one-to-one basis, and also to browse through helpful literature and books.

Discover you’re not alone, as you meet with others who have experienced the loss of a child.

A Day for Bereaved Parents

Southampton - Saturday 28 November

You can find out more and book your places at www.careforthefamily.org.uk/bpnday or call Care for the Family on (029) 2081 0800.

2010 events - keep an eye out in the next edition for details of next year's events.

• Telephone network - parents are put in touch with trained befrienders who have themselves experienced the death of a child.
• Events - giving parents who have lost a child the opportunity to meet others who have walked that road, to learn from shared experiences, and hopefully move towards a 'new normal'. Weekends also provide input for siblings.
• Email newsletter - containing personal stories, articles and helpful advice to support bereaved parents, their relatives and friends. If you, or someone you know, would like to receive this email newsletter regularly, and aren't already doing so, simply go to www.careforthefamily.org.uk/bpn-signup
• Resources - read more articles and stories here.