February 2010

Dear friend,

Whilst driving to work this morning, Cheryl Cole's song 'We gotta fight for this love' came on the radio. If you haven't heard it, it's worth checking out the lyrics, including the refrain "anything worth having is sure enough worth fighting for".

David M.Benett / Getty Images Entertainment

Reports of the ups and downs of her marriage to footballer Ashley Cole have been prolific in celebrity magazines. Who knows what the future holds for them, but Cheryl does seem to understand that a good marriage involves hard work and commitment. Here's a quote from Mail Online (9 November 2009):

"'I believe marriages are something you have to work at,' she said in one interview. 'Marriages are not rose-petal paths that you skip down, they were never intended to be. It's not supposed to be easy, it's not supposed to be perfect'."

Marriage Week UK takes place from 8 to 14 February, so we've included some articles on marriage in this edition of E-family. 'Movie night' is this year's theme and there are some suggested films for couples to watch together.

As well as tips for couples, there are also suggestions for community and church groups who might like to host a film night as a way of strengthening marriages in their locality. You'll find ideas for companies, too. Find out more at www.marriage-week.org.uk

Many thanks!

Katharine Hill, Care for the Family

PS There's a special offer on Rob Parsons' The Sixty Minute Marriage book this month, up to the end of February - order your copy here and get £2 off the usual price (it's also a great book to give as a gift).

I wonder if, like Dianne and I, you were given these words of advice when you got married: "Don't let the sun go down on your wrath". Or, as somebody has paraphrased it: "Resolve the flack before you hit the sack"! It means we shouldn't go to bed not talking, with hurts still festering.

I think that generally in our marriage we have striven to do that, although Dianne confesses she is much worse than me about making up quickly when we've had a row. We go to bed not talking and she simply will not give in. We lie there, back to back, huffing and puffing and pulling at the duvet, convinced that the other one has got more than their fair share of it. We always say a short prayer before we go to sleep, but it's hard to talk to God when you're not talking to each other. In fact, I can practically feel Dianne trying desperately to resist the temptation to say, "God, please help Rob to be more gracious when he's in the wrong!"

There is no shortage of things written about love - from pop songs to those little messages written on 'Love Heart' sweets. But amid the gushy sentimentality of greetings cards, and the cynicism some people may feel about 'love' as an emotion, what can we really say about love?

Here are 5 things to help you and your partner find a love that lasts:

For a parent, raising boys will be different from raising girls - simply because boys and girls are different.

Christine and Tony, who were both once single parents bringing up sons on their own, share their thoughts and suggestions on some of the practical issues involved in raising sons. I do hope you find these insights helpful.

This month sees the publication of Rob Parsons' new book,
The Sixty Minute Family.

In it, you'll discover ten lessons for a strong family life, drawn from Rob's own experiences and from encounters with people he's met along the way; people who know the joys and heartache that come from being a part of a family.

Rob takes a look at topics including: making time for each other, taking time to talk, discovering the power of encouragement, parenting styles, handling conflict effectively, the magic of traditions, and appreciating the extended family.

Special offer
We're currently offering you £1 off the usual retail price - Simply use the promotional code 60FE when you place your order.

Care for the Family's Richard Hardy reminisces ... and thinks of chocolate!

Whenever I eat a Topic chocolate bar, it always reminds me of a day I spent with my dad. I was about 8 years old and my dad was an officer in the army. Part of his role was to train the new recruits and plan training events that would take them out on manoeuvres. This meant he spent days out on reconnaissance, surveying the territory they were due to cover.

On this one particular day he decided to take me along for the ride. I remember it as clear as if it were yesterday - me and my dad in an army Land Rover doing boys' stuff. We drove up gullies, we spotted a pelican, we got mucky - it was great.

Take a look at the list of events taking place all around the country this spring. There's still time to book for 'Marriage Unlocked - keys to a healthy relationship' - a new event from Care for the Family that's taking place in Cardiff on 11 February, during Marriage Week UK. My husband, Richard, and I are the presenters, and Rob and Dianne Parsons are hosting the event.

And if you'd like to find out more about stewarding - and receiving a free ticket to any of Care for the Family's evening events - please call us on (029) 2081 0800.

You can see the full list here.