Nicola Watson-Bird, our Additional Needs Support Coordinator, shares the incredible work our volunteer befrienders do and the need for more parents to join the team.

The chances are that if you are the parent of a child with additional needs, you will have acquired a huge amount of knowledge, experience and skills – and your ability to bounce back despite repeated setbacks is second to none.

You probably know what it is like to have your parenting questioned, to feel alone and misunderstood. You may bear the scars of too many battles to get your child the support they need. You may have more appointments lined up than your diary can hold, yet still feel you are making little progress. Your family doesn’t quite fit and you know what it is to feel discouraged and at the end of yourself. What are you going to do with all that experience? Can it count for anything? Yes it can. We are looking to grow our team of additional needs telephone befrienders. We need you.

We aim to come alongside parents and cheer them on, or perhaps stand with them while they wait. We do not judge. We cry with them and/or laugh with them – whatever they need! We try to match parents by their child’s need: for instance, a chromosomal abnormality, mental health issues, a medical condition, loss of sight or hearing, autism, complex needs or developmental delay. We may be able to signpost parents to other organisations that we have found helpful.

Unfortunately we cannot offer practical support, but we may be able to help parents reframe what they’re encountering, take a step back, reflect and find the courage to go again, to take the next step.

We asked some of our existing befriendees what the most helpful aspects of befriending have been for them. This is what they said:

‘Knowing I was not alone and that someone who understood my situation themselves actually cared enough to offer support and a listening ear without judgement. Being able to say what I was feeling, struggling with or worried about was helpful in allowing space to clear my head and gain perspective and not hold everything in and blame myself for things.’

‘It helps me to keep going while my world collapses around me.’

‘I have a connection with someone outside of professional services who gives me the benefit of experience and perspective but delivered in a compassionate and personal manner.’

‘It’s lovely to have someone to talk to who “gets it”. I feel she understands what we’re going through and nothing becomes awkward when I bring the difficult things up – as can happen in other relationships. She isn’t fazed by the difficulty, rather she can relate to it and understands. It’s a great feeling to be understood.’

Nicola Watson

Perhaps reading this article has made you think you would like to know more about joining our team of befrienders. If so, please get in touch with Nicola, our Additional Needs Support Coordinator, at nicola.watson-bird@cff.org.uk or 07786 084871. 

We offer our befriending service to people of any faith or none.

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