Supporting wellbeing: Pause, slow down, and be present

Practice presence

One of the most overlooked impacts of being nonstop is the loss of presence. Many parents move from task to task – work, school runs, meals, bedtime, planning, worrying… rarely stopping to simply be.

This constant ‘doing mode’ can disconnect us from small but powerful moments of joy: seeing the smile on our child’s face, watching a sunset, taking a deep breath of fresh air, soaking in a hot bath, or listening to music without interruption. These moments may seem insignificant, but they are key. Being present allows the nervous system to reset, and reminds us that life is more than just survival.

Just as air stewards remind parents to put on their own oxygen mask before helping their children on a plane, prioritising our own wellbeing in everyday life and taking time to be in the moment is essential to enabling us to look after our children effectively. What one thing, even if it’s small, could you do for yourself this week?

Create micro-moments

Being in the moment does not require large amounts of time. It can be as simple as pausing, sitting quietly for five minutes with a cup of tea, letting the sun warm our face, walking barefoot on grass, or fully engaging in something pleasurable without distraction. Giving ourselves permission to pause is not indulgent, it’s essential. Schedule time for yourself proactively, even if it’s just 15 minutes a week to begin with. Treat this time as non-negotiable, like school runs or work commitments. Small, consistent acts of self-care build resilience and help prevent burnout.

Stick to routine

Being organised and having consistent routines for both children and parents reduces daily stress, as it provides structure and predictability, easing decision fatigue and giving both body and mind a greater sense of stability and control.

Tackle sleep deprivation

Sleep deprivation is a major challenge for parents, especially when children wake frequently or stress makes it hard to switch off. Chronic lack of sleep affects mood, patience, and mental health, showing us just how essential rest is. Rather than striving for perfect sleep, focus on protecting rest where possible. Gentle wind-down routines such as a warm shower, calming music, low lighting or writing worries down before going to bed can help the body relax.

Build connection and support

Isolation can intensify stress, but connecting with friends, family, or other single parents helps reduce loneliness, provides emotional support, and improves our mental wellbeing. If you think this sounds completely unattainable as an already-stretched single parent, be encouraged. Building connection doesn’t have to be time-intensive. Introducing a few small changes to your week can make all the difference. Try chatting with other parents at school drop-off, call someone while driving to work, connect with single parent support groups on social media, or start exchanging short voice notes with a friend. Simply hearing a loved one’s voice can do wonders for lifting our mood. If you can’t get hold of a babysitter, you could even watch a TV show ‘together’ with a friend, and text during it.

Let go of perfection

As single parents, we often carry unrealistic expectations of ourselves. Reducing self-criticism frees emotional energy and creates space for compassion toward ourselves. We can do this by noticing and softening how we speak to ourselves. For example, we can replace thoughts like ‘I messed that up’ with ‘That was hard, but I did my best’. Imagine how you’d speak to a close friend in the same situation, then offer yourself the same tone.

‘Good enough’ truly is enough. Identify a few non-negotiables, such as your child’s safety, affection and schooling. Then cut yourself some slack for everything else. If they end up wearing odd socks, or eating nothing but jacket potatoes for a week – that’s all right. If your child is safe, loved and generally OK, you’re doing more than enough!

And remember, there is no such thing as the ‘perfect’ parent.

Build towards a day of rest with the family

A full day of rest as a family may feel unrealistic, but rest doesn’t have to happen all at once. It’s simply about slowing the pace. It can begin with a slower morning and gradually extend to half a day or more when possible. It might look like cooking pancakes together in your pyjamas, cuddling on the sofa and listening to an audiobook your child is enjoying, or doing something simple like colouring, puzzles or Lego. Doing less slowly creates connection, reduces stress, and often becomes the moments children remember most.

Seek professional support when needed

Therapy or counselling can help process emotional overload and develop healthy coping strategies. Services such as Care for the Family’s Careline can offer support and signposting when things feel overwhelming, or you could seek support from your GP.

As single parents, we are often praised for our strength, but true strength also means allowing ourselves rest, joy, and moments of presence. Pausing to enjoy simple pleasures is not selfish, but essential for our wellbeing.