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Couples

The ’empty nest’ – after the kids leave home

By Couple Support Team

Reviewed by Couple Support Team

3 min read • Published 27 Aug, 2024 • Last reviewed 8 Jul, 2026

The empty nest

When children leave home, many parents experience a mixture of emotions. Alongside pride and excitement for the future, there can also be sadness, uncertainty and a sense of loss. This article explores how couples can navigate the transition to an ‘empty nest’, strengthen their relationship and adjust to a new season of life together. It offers practical ideas for reconnecting, communicating openly and creating fresh opportunities for shared enjoyment.

After investing many years in bringing up children, the ‘empty nest’ is often a challenging time for couples.

When the children leave home, many couples find that they need to adjust to a different lifestyle and to find new ways to connect with each other.

It can also be an unsettling time emotionally. You may find yourself feeling low, sad that the children are no longer around, and missing their company and the role that you had as a parent. It can also be unnerving to suddenly find yourselves alone together as a couple after years of having the children present. You may find that you struggle to know what to do with yourself or even to know what to say to each other now that it’s just the two of you. The challenge of the ‘empty nest’ period of a marriage will be greater for some than for others, but following some of the important principles below will be a real help.

Make time for each other

While it can be helpful to have individual interests or hobbies, it’s vital that you spend time together as a couple. It’s hard to connect with each other if one of you spends all your spare time at the golf course and the other at the gym. Spending time with each other, even if it’s just to go for a walk or have a meal, will make all the difference to the quality of your relationship. Consider taking up a new hobby together. Whether it’s dance classes, DIY or Spanish lessons, doing something new will be a great way to spend time together as well as a new focus for your conversation.

Talk about things that matter

Be open with each other and talk about how you feel about your current circumstances. It’s OK to say that you miss the children or that you feel a bit lost now that they’ve left. Make plans together and talk about the things you’d like to do now that you have the opportunity. Try to be patient with one another as you adjust individually and as a couple, and recognise that it might take a while to establish a new routine.

Keep sex alive

Make the most of having the house to yourselves and set time aside for sex and intimacy. Rekindle the romance of your early relationship by taking baths together, lighting candles, or cuddling without the risk of a sarcastic comment from one of your offspring. And enjoy the fact that you don’t have to worry about whether the door has been left open!

Have fun together

Be sure to make time for fun. Explore whether you still like doing the things you enjoyed when you first met, as well as discovering new activities. Play games together, go camping, do crazy golf or plan exciting holidays. Be adventurous with your ideas, and make time to laugh, be silly and enjoy one another’s company.

While the feeling of the ‘empty nest’ can be a challenging time for couples, it also gives us the chance to really invest in our relationship, rediscover one another and create new and happy memories together.

Key takeaways

  • It’s normal to find the empty nest stage emotionally challenging, even when you’re happy and proud of your children.
  • Many couples need time to adjust to being together without the daily routines and demands of parenting.
  • Spending intentional time together can help strengthen your relationship during this transition.
  • Honest conversations about your feelings, hopes and plans can help you navigate changes as a team.
  • It’s okay to miss your children while also embracing new opportunities in this season of life.
  • Shared hobbies, interests and experiences can help you rediscover one another and build new memories together.
  • This period can become an opportunity to invest in your relationship and enjoy a renewed sense of connection.
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Next steps

If your family is entering an empty nest season, remember that adjusting takes time. You don’t need to have everything figured out straight away. Consider setting aside time to talk about how you’re both feeling and identify one activity you could enjoy together in the coming weeks.

You may also find it helpful to reflect on interests, goals or experiences that were harder to pursue during the busy years of parenting. Small steps towards reconnecting can make a real difference.

For more encouragement and practical support, explore Care for the Family’s relationship resources. You might also like to share this article with your spouse or partner and use it as a starting point for conversation.

Find support

About the author

Drawing on Care for the Family’s long-standing commitment to supporting couples, the Couples Support team develops practical resources and articles designed to strengthen communication, encourage healthy relationship habits and offer hope during challenging seasons. With decades of experience and research-based principles, the team aims to provide encouragement that is compassionate, realistic and accessible. Whether exploring everyday relationship skills, navigating differences, or helping couples reconnect, their focus is on offering trusted guidance that supports stronger, healthier relationships.

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